Say What?!?!?!?
I have 3 boys whom I dearly love and feel like our little quiver is full. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. It's also amazing how many thoughts run rampant through your mind when you get quite the shock.
Well, I found out at 10 am I was pregnant and due to the fact that I had birth control in place to avoid such things from happening, I needed an ultrasound to find out where the pregnancy was. Fast forward 5 hours and I was being told the pregnancy was ectopic and I would need surgery to remove it. Um, okay. Wasn't in my plans for the day thank you very much.
I'm truly thankful for modern technology and for the bluetooth in my car radio. I had to call grandma to watch the boys, call hubby to tell him what was going on and to meet me at home. I started calling friends to tell them to pray and to let them know that I had to cancel the birthday party. Yes, I was throwing a birthday party for my 7 year old and his friends that evening.
Talk about mom guilt...... Nothing worse than having to call everyone to let them know that party that was supposed to start in 3 hours was off.
The reason why I have this photo is this song came on my shuffle as I was driving to the doctor office that morning and it was completely what I needed to hear.
I can't do this, I can't do this
I can't do this by myself
I can't do this, I can't do this
Oh God, I need your help
It was just a complete surrender to God that I had NO IDEA what was going on with me and that I needed Him to walk me through whatever was going to be happening.
I wish I could say that my surgery went well, but one of my arteries got nicked during the surgery, so I had to go under a second time. I remember waking up fine and then when the nurses rolled me to see Mike, everything went weird. My blood pressure dropped, heart rate went up and things started to move quickly. The second time I went into surgery, I was starting to get a little freaked out, but started praying to Jesus to take care of me.
The second surgery went well, the doctors fixed me all up and I spent the next 20 hours in the hospital trying my hardest to get better so I could go home and see my birthday boy. He was such a trooper and really concerned about mom. I just felt horrible that I blew his birthday.
I'm truly thankful for all the prayers, meals, love and support from friends, family and even people that barely know our family. I'm still recovering, taking it easy, trying to let go and rest. I don't think I've had this much sleep since my 7 year old was the newborn and I slept when he did.
Why did this happen? I have no idea. Maybe someday, when I get to heaven I will be able to see the big picture, but for now, I'm just trusting God, thanking Him for taking care of me and my family.
